Stupid mistakes.

So I broke up with Josh, quite impulively. I wish I didn't do it. I love him so much, and I hate myself. The whole thing where he doesn't think I want him. He thinks I just want someone like him. I don't. I want him. When I got home, I realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my life... I wish I could take it back... I'm so angry with myself for being so impulsive. And I went to talk to him afterwards, but he didn't want to talk to me, and I don't think he'll ever take me back. I wish he would just give me one more shot... I know I can be better, and I know I was asking too much from him, but I know that now! I wish he would believe me. I wish he would just give me another shot... ebfiruebgnjsdfsf what is wrong with me?! I hate myself. I wish I could turn back time. This is so stupid. My mom said "You can do this without him." And I know I can. I know He doesn't have to be in my life for me to be happy. I just don't want to be without him. His smell, his eyes, his voice. Everything. I'm going to miss it so much. I can't even breathe. He said he needed someone consistant, so I'm going to become that for him. Even if he never sees it, I want to be like that. There's no one else I'd rather be with. Not one person. And its going to be so hard seeing him every day... I hope he'll still be my best friend... Thats even harder. Losing a boyfriend is one thing, but losing my best friend... I want to die. I wish I didn't open my big stupid mouth. Maybe he'll be better off without me. I mean, I just want him to be happy... ghf;llepfkbgrdsfhji I wish I could hold him again. I just hurt so bad. Physically. And I can't even do anything about it. I want him to see that I can be what he needs if he only gives me a chance. I mean, tons of couples break up and get back together! Maybe we'll be like that! I have to think positively. Everythings gonna be okay. "If you love something, and its true, it will always come back." Thats what his mom told me the first time we broke up. Maybe it will be okay. Oh I hope so. I don't think he'll ever understand how greatful I'll be if he lets me try one more time...