Hurray!

So, now I've got everything looking good!
I'm really excited about this. Really, all I want to do is write what I think about so I don't take it out on the people I love.

So right now I'm freaking out. Josh is my best friend. And I'm in love with him. But I'm afraid he's so preoccupied with not hurting me after he goes to San Diego that it's not letting him enjoy his time with me now. This makes me nervous. I know we're not going to get married or anything, but I sure like being with him now. It just makes me want to cry. At 10 this morning he said he'd text me in a bit, and its 5:30 now and nothing.. I asked him if he was mad at me and he said "No I just need my space today." Which makes me even more nervous because the last time he said that he broke up with me the next day. Of course, he came back crying the next day when he did that... Haha! I just miss the way things use to be, you know? Over summer we were so intense and it was perfect. Now its all messed up and unpleasant. Stupid college. Its the only thing that messes us up. I know I'm never gonna love someone like I love him, but he doesn't seem to want to believe me. He always goes on about how I'm going to meet someone and be happy, and yeah, maybe I will. I don't know whats gonna happen, but still. I just want him to understand that right now he's my world. I know that we'll be friends after we go our separate ways (and honestly, the physical chemistry that we have will make it really hard to keep our hands off each other whenever we're together). :) I love him, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for our relationship.